Have you been working on yourself, looking for a transformation or a breakthrough, whether it is physical, mental or emotional?
Have you been taking new steps, changing some things in your daily life in order to achieve your goal, but you don’t see any results? Do you feel that whatever you do, it is never good enough, and that you are not improving as much as you would like? Do you feel sometimes discouraged or do you even lose motivation out of discouragement and frustration?
I can see many people in this case, and of course, I have been through these periods of doubts myself as well. It is normal and it is part of the process. The most important thing is to stay focused on your goal. Why have you even started this journey at the beginning?
These are a few things that I think are important to keep in mind, whenever you are losing faith or confidence:
1. Think of WHY rather than HOW
Sometimes, the problem is in your focus. What are you actually focusing on? For example, if your goal is to get through some emotional challenges. Keep in mind WHY you are doing it, what is your ultimate dream? The HOW will follow without you thinking too much about it. Be aware of where you are putting your intention. The more you think, feel and experience your goal in the NOW, the better and easier it will come to you. Setting your intention and focus to the important things will attract those things that you are already believing in, inside of you. So yes, LIVE YOUR DREAM NOW. Feel how it is already there. Don’t wait for the “real world” to take you there before you feel and experience it. This will raise your vibration level so much that the process will be made easier and that you won’t even have to double think of how to get there, as things will come to you normally.
2. The journey can’t be straight forward
Think about it: what would you learn, if it was easy? If what you want to achieve was easy, would you even have to really work on it? It is because it is not that easy, it is because of some obstacles that you will encounter on your way, that the journey is worth it. This is how you can truly grow, and how everything makes sense. It is thanks to those obstacles that you learn more and understand more about yourself. That is how you can really go through a deep transformation. Those periods that can seem tough, unfair, unbearable, are actually the most rewarding ones. So just keep that in mind: there is a reason for everything. And if today you are struggling, it is FOR YOUR OWN BEST. Always take a step back, realize what is going on and enjoy the journey, as tough as it is. Because you know that it doesn’t matter, that you will find a way and that you will go through it, no matter what. So yes, embrace those complicated times, and take the most out of them. Let your inner hero express himself.
3. Write your daily thoughts and emotions in a journal
Many clients who I am coaching don’t see how far they have come since they started. They might even have the feeling that nothing really changed since they started, despite their efforts and the changes they managed to implement in their lives. And this is “normal” as they are the ones doing it all and don’t have an objective view on their progress. A great way for them to realize it is to keep a daily journal, and write down every day what they have been doing, how they felt about it, their thoughts, good or bad, and their emotions. What often happens is that when people look back at what they wrote 6 months ago, they realize: WOW. I didn’t remember that. I forgot how miserable I was at that time, etc etc. And that’s when they understand that yes, even if has been done little step by little step, the transformation has been happening and yes, they did manage to change for the better. So yes, keep in mind that even if it doesn’t seem like this to you, if you have been consistently working on something, making some changes, there MUST be a result, as tiny as it might seem. It is often about consistency, patience and trust. Unfortunately we are living in a world that wants everything very quickly. Again, enjoying the journey is what it is all about.
4. Be true and honest to yourself
I have been coaching some people who were afraid of telling me exactly what was going on. They knew they were not doing everything as they said they were, they knew they were maybe hiding some things, but maybe they just didn’t want to accept that or were afraid to admit it. Many of them often assimilate the coach to a school teacher, and are afraid of having a “bad appreciation”. That’s just reminders of their school time. The problem is this: we don’t really care whether you are doing good things or not. We want to know exactly how you work, what your triggers are, what works and what doesn’t. What you can change now or not yet. We want to know how your inner self is handling all this. What are your inner blockages? Because it is only when we understand all this that we can really have deep improvement. So yes, say everything! And to yourself first. Acknowledge your weaknesses, acknowledge where you are failing the most, acknowledge what you don’t manage to do, even if you know you should. Acknowledge your own self-sabotage pattern. Hiding it from yourself is just counterproductive. It is often in those things that some relevant truth can be revealed. So yes, be true, honest to yourself and to the people who are there to guide you. This might mean that you have to make an extra effort to connect to your heart. You might be lying to yourself unconsciously. So yes, just be aware of this and be really ready to face your deep reality, however hard this can be.
5. Don’t be impatient: trust the journey
So you are feeling you have no results? Are you sure that you are just not being too impatient? Whatever you decided to do, whatever your goal is, you have to understand that what will make you change is not the goal, but the process. That yes, it might take more time than you thought. But just trust the journey, just keep in mind that if it takes so much time, it might be because this is exactly what you need, and this is exactly how everything should be happening. So yes, keep the positive vibes that you often have at the beginning of the process. Be able to laugh about it, maybe don’t take it all too seriously. Know that whatever you are going through, it always happens FOR you. So yes, just BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Surround yourself with good positive energy from uplifting people. Don’t beat yourself down, be proud of everything you are doing, the good and the bad. And as I always insist on: accept yourself exactly as you are, NOW. Don’t wait until you achieve your goal. Be your own best friend and support yourself in your ups and your downs. The answers are all in you, within. So never hesitate to dig in and discover the real you, layer after layer.
As a conclusion I would say: don’t beat yourself up! All experiences are good opportunities to grow and learn more. And therefore the most difficult ones can be the most exciting ones, that really force you to let your inner hero shine. Be positive about it all, no matter what. Avoid bad energies or people or situations that put you down. They are not worth it. Don’t be afraid of being selfish. Because being selfish by taking care of yourself actually means showing more love to yourself and to the world. If some close-hearted people don’t understand that, let them go their way. Knowing you might actually influence them, whether they realize it or not.
In Love and Happiness,
Stephanie