Part 2: Baby Diane's arrival at home

First of all, I would like to make a point about the fact that every woman experiences pregnancy and birth in her own special way. I am just going to share with you my own feelings and thoughts based on life and on some amazing books that inspired me.

1. The first days at home as a new family

The arrival at home with Diane was actually fabulous and normal all at the same time. It felt normal to have her with us. I think there is a reason why pregnancy takes 9 months! It does give you time to realize things and get prepared to them, emotionally, mentally and physically.

During the first 2 weeks, I didn't feel like talking to many people. I didn't feel like doing any social effort, and I am so glad I respected that feeling!! It gave me time to really bond with the baby, to set up my new routine, to get to know her, and to help my body recover. I was in this little bubble and that's exactly what I needed.

Yes, I am grateful and I feel very lucky that I have a husband that made this experience so beautiful. He was taking care of the both of us, making sure we had everything we need at home, and helping me out with understanding the baby, getting her to sleep and just getting to know her better every day. I couldn't have done it without him.

2. Getting close and bonding

We made what made us feel comfortable and what seemed natural and easy to us: lots of skin-to-skin contact, and co-sleeping or bed-sharing. The first 3 months are extremely important - they are the 4th trimester of pregnancy. The newborn needs closure to feel secured and loved. It is easy to see how important it is for her to be held and close to her mother or father as much as possible.

Whenever you leave those newborns alone, they have no idea that you are going to come back. So yes, they cry. Because to them, it is a life threatening situation. So yes, baby Diane was most of the time held by me or her father.

We did help her cry whenever she expressed the need. Babies do have a lot of stress, and they do need to let it all out. But we didn't let her cry alone: we were holding her tight, not moving, looking at her in the eyes, telling her we love her and that we are here listening to whatever she has to say.

3. Co-sleeping or bed-sharing

Honestly, this is just what my instincts told me to do. Even at the hospital, I kept her close to me in the bed all the time.

Is it dangerous for the baby?

As everything, you have to be aware of the risks and minimize them all. No big heavy covers or duvets on top of the baby, as few pillows as possible around her, and there is a specific "security" position that the mother can take to be sure that she won't roll over the baby unconsciously. But this is what I have felt: as a new mom, who is regularly breastfeeding, even at night, I was and still am in tune with my baby.

This is actually what we are programmed to do. Newborn babies were used to stick to their mother while the father and the rest of the tribe would make sure they get all they need, in terms of comfort and security.

4. The advantages of co-sleeping

To me, the main advantage is about the nights feedings. She wakes up, sometimes she is just playing by herself, feeling good because she knows we are there with her. And when she wants to eat, well, she knows how to get her milk. I barely wake up, she gets her feed, and falls asleep easily afterwards. So YES, NIGHTS ARE QUITE EASY. I don't have to wake up completely, prepare a milk bottle, and calm her because she basically never cries at night, ever.

Co-sleeping has actually helped me recover better: I have been sleeping more, taking it more easy. The first few weeks, I was basically following the rhythm and schedule of the baby, and it helped me relax and sleep and therefore heal and recover better from the delivery.

5. Trust your guts

I truly believe that a mother knows better than anyone else what she has to do regarding her baby. She knows and understands her baby much better than anyone else. Yes of course, there are many moments where we doubt ourselves, and that's when the presence and support of the father or any other close person is precious.

I did what my primal instincts told me to do, and that's also why I have felt great during this very special time. Don't let anyone take that away from you. Trust yourself and enjoy every second of this incredible experience.

6. Breastfeeding

I am going to keep this short, as there are so many books already written about it. I will just say this: if you can, and if it doesn't cause you too much stress or pain, breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your baby. It is not just about nutrition. It is about the bond you create with your child, the comfort you give, the immunity you build in them.

If for any reason you can't breastfeed, please don't feel guilty about it. Your love and your presence are what matters the most.

With Love,

Stephanie