“I didn’t have time at all, I got so busy….”
“I just forgot”
“It’s the traffic”, “my friend didn’t let me do it”, “the weather didn’t allow me to”, “I was just too tired…”
So many excuses can come up and make you feel better: it is not your fault if you couldn’t stick to your word, or do something you planned to do… But are those excuses not just proving that your standards are not that high, that your priorities are somewhere else?
Some people complain because they are not getting better. They complain about their life, about the way things happen to them, about their life situation. But then, when you really look at it, you just see that those same people let themselves “controlled” by life and don’t want to take responsibility for what is going on with them. There is always a good reason for them not to stick to higher standards. Always a good reason not to get better. And so they stay where they have always been. Sometimes they get very depressed because their situation is not changing, but they don’t realize that they are the ones creating their own reality. They are the ones who accept to have excuses for whatever is going on. They are the ones who don’t want to step up and acknowledge that they are the ones downgrading themselves constantly.
How many of you know someone like that? Someone who says: “Ok count on me I will do that tomorrow”, but then they don’t because of whatever reason they have? Some people spend their life like this, and they don’t even realize the impact. By accepting those things, they self-sabotage themselves constantly. They are the ones blocking themselves from becoming a better person. They are the ones who actually don’t believe in themselves. They are convinced that life doesn’t help them. But it’s just because it is easier to see it that way. It is easier to say that it is not their fault.
People who love them will still be there and know that ok, they might be saying something but not stick to it, because they are like that. Some others can get really frustrated, especially if their own standards are higher and if they expect more from other people as well.
If sometimes you feel this happens to you, if sometimes you know you are not doing the right things and that you find an excuse for that, keep this in mind:
If it is important for you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.
So stop giving excuses, because it just shows that it wasn’t that important for you.
If you want your life to change, YOU have to make changes. And don’t expect for something to change first, or for that to arrive or for you to get that or for anyone to do anything. No. The change starts in you, with you. So whether it happens or not only depends on you.
Have high expectations for yourself. By setting high standards, you won’t let anything happen again that will downgrade you. Behave the way the person you want to be would do. When you say you will do something, stick to your word or don’t say it. And here, I am also talking about when you say it to yourself. Because with time, if you give your word (to yourself or to someone else) and don’t stick to it, people will lose faith and respect for you, as they will know that your own standards for yourself are so low. And you will lose your respect for yourself too, and keep on going around this "low standards" circle because of this paradigm in you that you are keeping and feeding.
Make that shift within yourself happen, and don’t ever look back again. Whether it is in your professional or your personal life, sticking to high standards is crucial and determines who will stick around you. If you want quality in your life, attract it and let your own potential shine.
Don’t wait for tomorrow to make the change. Do it NOW. Stop using words like “I’ll try, I can’t, I hope, I wish…”. Those words carry a lot of negative energy and already involve some potential excuses that what you want to happen actually won’t. And guess what happens most of the time: because you use those words, you actually show that you don’t really believe in it yourself, and therefore nothing happens. But you are all good, because you have good excuses….right?
This can be applied to anything in life:
- At work with clients: you say you will send them something on day D but you don’t because of xxxx. How will they keep on making business with you if they know you are not reliable?
- At home with your partner: you say you will do something, but you don’t because xxxxx. So how can they trust you on anything you will say in the future?
- At home with your children: you say you will take them somewhere but you don’t because xxxx. This will show the kids that your word doesn’t mean much actually. Not ideal, right?
And we could go on and on but you get the point.
Set your standards high.
Make the changes NOW.
Believe in the fact that you are much more worth than this.
Don’t rely on the others’ opinion of you. Do it for you. Don’t do things just because you are afraid that people won’t like you anymore. Don't promise things that you can’t stick to just because you think this is how they will love you. Or don’t let the others make you do things you don’t want to. Your choices are yours, your life is yours. If you want things to improve, start NOW. Stop making excuses. Be that person you want to be, behave like this person! Just fake it till you make it.
Making changes means changing your routine. This is how the biggest changes or transformations start: with daily new habits or rituals. Make them count, stick to them, consider yourself as an awesome person who is respectful, reliable and who people will look up to. Never blame anyone for your own situation. Learn from previous mistakes, and don’t repeat them. If you repeat them, it means you haven’t learned your lesson, and it shows that you are just being passive in your life, “hoping” for something good to happen. But it doesn’t happen like that: YOU have to ACTION and to MAKE IT HAPPEN.
So just do it and stop lying to yourself. Your life depends on you, and on no one or nothing else, and you know it. What happens is always a consequence of the energy you put out there.
In Love and Happiness,
Stephanie