This week I have witnessed many situations that make me wonder the same question: are we being true to ourselves? Are we truly believing everything we are telling ourselves, or are we just good at self-convincing ourselves?
This is actually very important and sometimes, it is good to take a step back and really look at what is going on.
There are many situations where you do things that you regret, where you almost don’t understand why you have done it. And you always have good excuses or reasons explaining why you have done it. But honestly, deep inside of you, is that really your truth? How can we make the difference between transparent honesty and false self-conviction? Why are we sometimes so afraid of admitting what is truly going on?
First, one has to know how to connect to themselves in order to understand better the situation. How can you move forward and learn if you stay disconnected? How can you realize the game you are playing if you are never facing the real, true you, without a mask?
Learning to connect to yourself is a progressive process, but you feel the difference each step of the way. Yes, you have to meditate EVERY DAY. Make it your own ritual, your own way: any quiet place, with or without music, in a position where you feel comfortable (and where you don’t fall asleep!). Have those 15-20 minutes any time of the day, whenever it suits you best. But make it part of your lifestyle, like brushing your teeth. Many people say that they don’t feel the benefits of it, but it is often because they are not being persistent and regular. I personally think that once you do it a couple of times in the row, you start understanding better what it is about and it becomes a real pleasure and necessity. And keep in mind: if you don’t have time to meditate 20 minutes, it means you have to mediate for at least one hour (fact).
Another great way to connect to yourself is to go into nature. Whether it is a green park, a beach, the mountain… Take time to leave the concrete city and spend quality time within real life. Touch it, be barefoot. Let your senses develop: the smell, the touch, the beautiful landscape…. Those things will take you back to who you really are, and it is important to include it as much as possible in your life.
A mostly important tip to reconnect to yourself is also about…. your food. You are what you eat, I like to say that you are what you absorb. If you are having processed foods, too much sugary snacks, too much white processed table salt, bad harming fats instead of the good necessary ones, then you are not allowing your body to function properly, neither your mind. And that keeps you distant from your true inner self. Your body is the temple you live in. If you don’t take care of it, how can you figure out what is going on on the inside? Many people tell me: “Oh but I won’t stop eating my Sunday cake” (and they are not talking about the yummy tasty organic cakes that we can do at home, they are talking about the highly processed and sweetened ones bought out there…). Well I suppose this is their choice, and this is a question of priority. And I am not saying that they should never ever eat again those things. I am just saying that they should work on their overall lifestyle and nutrition on a daily basis. But it is often easy to find excuses and to keep on complaining because nothing is changing. Having a healthy balanced nutrition is crucial. I can see many people who became more connected to themselves just because they have been on a balanced cleanse and changing gradually their food intake for better cleaner choices. When your body is cleaner, your mind is as well and your soul can express itself in a much obvious way. Please don’t fall into the traps of the mass commercials thinking you have to cut calories or only make low-fat or “diet” choices. I am talking about the holistic way, having a balanced food intake that is everything but frustrating. Speak to a holistic health and life coach as there are way too many confusing misconceptions around that out there.
Those are just a few things you can start doing and that will give you a better insight of your true self.
The next step is to not be afraid of changing.
“But what will people think?”, “will they still like me?”, “will I disappoint them?”. Many people are afraid of facing their true self because they are afraid of the consequences. Even if they know this is for their own good and that this can truly improve their life at a higher level, sometimes the fear of others’ opinion is too big and stepping out of their comfort zone is not something they are ready to do. My view here is that this often happens step by step. We rarely change all of a sudden. We start discovering things about ourselves, we start learning about who we are and what makes us happy, and little by little, we implement some new changes in our life – and our lifestyle. Yes people might start asking what is going on, but honestly: think yourself in your own death bed. Don’t take the risk of regretting things that you didn’t do just because of “the others”. It doesn’t make any sense. People who love you always will, and will always support you as you feel better, stronger, more confident and happier, no matter what it means regarding your life – and your lifestyle. Of course there are always people there to criticize everything. But you can thank them: the day you are over any type of negative criticism is the day you know you finally got to love yourself for who you truly are. It is liberating and empowering.
I often say: “Make every day count”. And that’s because I truly believe that every single morning is a new start, a new chance, a new opportunity, to learn, be better, grow, and feel more aligned with yourself. Yes, some days are more difficult, they are just there to make you even stronger. I like to see them as a new challenge, like the Universe testing me on whatever I have been preaching lately. I feel bad? Angry? Unmotivated? Hopeless? That’s just good opportunities for me to apply what I truly believe in: self-love, re-connection to myself, and my happiness is always there within me, and it only depends on me whether I want to make it shine – or not.
I found myself lying to myself a couple of times. But not consciously. I was truly convinced of what I was saying and/or thinking. But the mind can play tricks on you and when you accept to be disconnected from your true you for a bit, it makes it harder to acknowledge that you might have been wrong all that time. But it doesn’t really matter. The most important is always, as usual, to learn and grow. For example: I am thinking: “It is raining again and therefore I am not going to do some Tai Chi outside today”. What a lie!! I can put my raincoat on and go out and do just 10 minutes of Tai Chi outside, the rain is an amazing way to reconnect to nature actually! So yes, I am talking about these types of lies, that make our life easier, and that we like to repeat to ourselves constantly. Of course I am also talking about more “serious” things, like lying to yourself about your job: you are complaining all the time but say to yourself that there are worse situations than yours and that you should just keep on doing the same things you have always done. So you accept to be unhappy and frustrated your whole life. For whatever reasons you found. You know deep down it is just lies and that you should do something about it, but it might be easier to ignore that and to keep on going with the same life. There are plenty of situations like that where, if we truly connect on the inside, we know that there is something wrong and that we are not helping ourselves. Sometimes the fear of changing something is more scary than doing the change itself. Only life experience can make you understand that. But it is important to keep that in mind. The easiest way is not always the best one.
Those were my thoughts on this Sunday morning. I feel that too many people enchain themselves in their own lives, whether it is because of fear, of lack of confidence, or because they are just too disconnected with themselves. There is no better feeling than being truly aligned with your Inner Self. Make it a priority, every day. Don’t do things just because you think that’s what other people expect from you. Don’t spend your life pleasing others. The more you connect to who you truly are, the more you accept it, the better it feels and the more you will attract positivity, prosperity and happiness into your life. It might be worth giving it a try :-)
In Love and Happiness,
Stephanie